Fra dyp sorg til å prester under høyt press

thereseogm3

Foto: Tor Lindseth

 

For Therese Cleve-Stiansen ble oppkjøringen til årets premiere av «Skal vi danse» en vond og tung erfaring.

Bare dager før TV-konseptet ble sparket i gang, måtte Therese ta farvel med sin kjære far.

– I år var premieren helt forferdelig, skal jeg være ærlig, forteller danseveteranen.

Faren hennes hadde akkurat tapt en lang og tapper kamp mot den alvorlige muskelsykdommen ALS.

– Han var alltid «til stede» når jeg danset og gledet seg masse til å se hver lørdag. Det har alltid kommet en melding på morgenen med «lykke til» og en oppløftende hilsen etter sending, sier hun.

Å ha mistet en som står en så nær, er ekstremt. Å prestere på direktesendt TV er også ekstremt.

I dyp sorg og med vonde tanker og følelser som stadig kom til bevisstheten, ble det vanskeligere for den erfarne mentaltreneren å fokusere på premieren enn noen gang.

Den positive Therese må innrømme at hun hadde en veldig dårlig dag.

– Så hva gjorde du for å yte best mulig på premieren i denne sorgtunge situasjonen Therese?

I alt hun formidler som mentor, er hun innom dette med roller.

– I foredrag og coaching snakker jeg om nytten av å være bevisst de ulike rollene man har i livet. På lørdag måtte jeg være tydelig for meg selv hvilken rolle jeg skulle entre og forsøke å utelukke følelsene mine. Være tydelig på hvilken tilstand som var verdifull for meg å ha i prestasjonsøyeblikket.

Tydeliggjøring av roller og sterk fokusering henger gjerne sammen.

Therese mener at en del av det å være leder handler om nettopp det å sette egne følelser til siden. Selv om det ikke alltid er så lett. La være å la egne følelser gå utover de andre en har rundt seg – som også skal yte sitt beste.

– Å styre vekk fra følelsene akkurat der og da, er mulig. Det går an å fokusere kun på oppgavene for en stund. Det betyr ikke å utelukket de vonde følelsene, men utsatte dem, forklarer hun.

På premieren i «Skal vi danse» forsøkte hun å sette sorgen på vent.

 

thereseogm2

Foto: Tor Lindseth

– Det var ikke lett, og jeg klarte det ikke hele tiden, men det var noe jeg måtte. Hvis ikke ville det blitt fryktelig vondt. Ikke minst for min dansepartner, den jeg hadde ansvar for.

– Jeg må finne rom innimellom hvor jeg kan få være i sorgen, sier hun.

Samtidig som Therese hadde glede av sine mentale teknikker litt i rykk og napp gjennom premieredagen, forteller hun at det  «skjedde noe» da det virkelig gjalt.

– Da det var vår tur til å fremføre Jiven på direkten, da kom det noen uante krefter. Et overraskende fokus, forteller hun.

Therese hadde fokus på prestasjon og tilstedeværelse i den profesjonelle rollen.

– Jeg jobbet masse med eget kroppsspråk og energi, og jeg brukte pusten til å bevare roen, forteller hun.

Av Trine Bækkevar Semb

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